Slim Whitman Invitational
2013 Champ - Bobby
This text was verbalized at the
CHAMPS Handicap Presentation on
6/11/14. It shall be recorded as
The 2013 Champ’s Letter. The
CHAMP withheld publication of the
letter till now hoping to entice more
Slimers to attend the great event in
anticipation of hearing these hallowed
words in person.
• I’m tired of those ‘SLIMERs’ who type a good game but rarely participate.
• I’m tired of those ‘SLIMERs’ who are quick to criticize SLIMERs who attend but never show their ass on site.
• ...And I’m tired of those SLIMERs who hover in the wings, chastising those, who day in and day out, get up at the ‘crack’ (easy SMURF) of dawn,
head pounding like a Hooker on payday, taking in the fresh smell of the steaming La Brea Tar Pit sulfur coming out of each and every Fireside
bathroom, all in preparation for the Death March to the marshalling point at that first tee where they begin another day of battle.
These are the brothers I write to. These are the men I come for. And these are the only ones privileged to hear these hallowed words in person,
THIS BAND OF BROTHERS.
That is my letter, right or wrong, early or late; it came from the heart for the good of my Brothers. I plead for leniency but will accept any
punishment this esteemed Committee sees fit. All I ask is that your punishment, fairly meted out, benefits this BROTHERHOOD.